the best honeymoon ever, except for yours.

it only took me 25 days to get this mutha written, which might be a new record for speediness here at WWNC. so here goes:  VIVA FRANCE. the only downside to this trip was NOTHING. photos are below, taken by professionals, but sadly, not professional photographers. as for trip thoughts, i realized a great many things during our french travels, mainly that the most superior beings on this planet are french dogs. le pooches are allowed in restaurants sitting on chairs at the table, on trains including first class, in fancy hotels in private rooms and so on. if you subscribe to the concept of reincarnation, cross your fingers that you come back as a french dog. TWO, everyone speaks english. don't even bother downloading the $1.99 english-to-french iphone app because you don't need it. even when you are explaining to le nurse of le pharmacie that you have been extremely nauseous due to carsickness on their tiny-ass winding roads, she will be able to communicate through pantomime driving in a car and throwing up over her shoulder. OUI LADY, OUI. and thank heavens i didn't have le runs because your acting is pretty impressive. THREE, do not take high heels on a euro trip of any sort, unless you are an actress headed to cannes or want a divorce. between the walking and the cobblestones and the down-to-earth folk, you will look like a moron and be fiercely uncomfortable, which will cause you to be an ass to your fancy new husband and then he will wonder why he brought you on this trip in the first place. FOUR, the paris flea market is A to the m-a-z-i-n-g, especially if you are into dudes (meaning either a lady or a gay), but it will cause most hetero males contemplate suicide, especially if you make them walk around with you for five hours (thanks again, sugarbear). FIVE, even if you are iron-willed and try super hard to keep it under control, you will be eating upwards of four croissants per day just for breakfast, at least two baguettes at lunch, and pretty much any carb-filled anything they put under your nose by dinnertime. when you see a waiter you will wave your hands and say WE NEED MORE CROISSANTS/BAGUETTES OVER HERE with your mouth full of bread, which may or may not fall out of your mouth while you are talking.

because i don't know how to comment on these pictures without re-formatting my blogger, here's a brief-ish run-down of our travels, with links! SPOILER ALERT: i am not rick steves and i don't do travel writing, so like the travel journal i diligently kept, this is going to get a bit long-winded and boring before ending awkwardly so do yourself a favor and skip ahead to the photos.

we flew directly into gay par-ee and were there three days (sightseeing, dinner cruise on the seine, saint-ouen flea market), fighting an unmerciful battle with jetlaggery (jetlag: 1, wilson-luebes: 0). we traveled by foot or metro and felt pretty good about how international we were. on day four, we took the train to avignon and hunkered down for three days at the swanky hotel d'europe while we explored the town and côtes du rhône countryside (les baux, pont du gard), that's right-in our french car-before relocating deeper into provence via le scenic route. we stopped in gigondas at some wineries (sidenote: if you see a gigondas wine, purchase it. this region produces terrific lighter reds and we are hooked for life.) before beginning the most treacherous, vomit-inducing road trip through the death mountains (aka the luberon) to roussillon, which is noted for its large ochre pigment deposits found in the clay surrounding the village. from roussillon, we day-tripped to more wineries and small luberon hill villages, such as bonnieux, gordes, joucas and goult. there are pretty much zero areas not covered in grapevines. we then took it coastal, first stopping for a few days in cassis, a tiny beach inlet between giant cliffs. after paris, avignon and roussillon, cassis was kind of a MEH, but b-rad will tell you that is because i got snobby at our less than five-star hotel, which is his fault for taking me to a ton of five star hotels and then the econolodge of france. we daytripped from cassis to aix-en-provence, a bustling university town to the north. after leaving cassis, we went to saint-tropez, located on the french riviera and GORGEOUS. brigitte bardot was discovered in saint-tropez, and we stayed in the most fabulous digs i have ever seen: pastis hotel. i may or may not do an entire blog post about the pastis hotel because it was that spectacular. we wanted to leave on the seventh of never but had to keep moving east for our return train to paris, so we sadly departed and drove down the coast through sainte-maxime, fréjus saint-raphaël and cannes to antibes. our hotel was actually in an adjoining village called juan-les-pins, but we walked the short distance into antibes, which is lovely and houses some of the largest yachts in the world. the next day we could see the snow-capped french alps as we caught our train, so we really felt like we'd covered a lot of terrain. honeymoons just happen the once, and it was a magical trip, so we are already looking forward to france redux: the french riviera focus.

so here are the photos. if you don't like jean jackets or pictures of doors, go ahead and stop while you are ahead because there are lots of both.