Tuesday, July 21, 2015

ye olde shanty: part 7, aka time flies when you are standing still.

this morning, the construction crew rolled up at seven in the AM to begin what looks like more demolition of the front shanty, but is actually the first part of what is really and truly construction. after such a long time of what seems like nothing happening, we are actually maybe possibly getting started on building a new shanty, and it's super exciting!

around 800 hours, i realized that today is actually the two-year anniversary of my move to this house, which is weird, and a coincidence, but i really don't believe in coincidences. could we call it synchronistic? let's do!

since my post in february, it seems like nothing has happened, but the reality is IT'S ALL HAPPENING, i think for real this time? hopefully, the universe is done playing tricks on me, because imma bout to hit you with some shanty plannin'.

to recap, this is the front shanty from the street, from the real estate listing:
that photo is from an angle and pretty misleading - i think this was taken in the 80's, because this is not what i bought. you can catch up on past shanty posts here, but this is a photo showing what the shanty has looked like for most of these TWO LONGEST YEARS EVER:
and just for fun, here is present-day shanty, featuring the original 1930's wooden siding, unearthed beneath two layers of vinyl and asbestos nastiness:
I KNOW, I KNOW.... it is getting worse. i shall treat you with siding (aka termite rot) post, as well as introduce you to that beast puppy in my arms, RILL SOON.

here are the final runners-up in my house inspiration file, affectionately called "KEEP DREAMING". this is four photos out of probably... thousands? if this compilation seems all over the place, you just don't even KNOW, but the reality is i just haven't stumbled upon a photo of what i'm trying to achieve.
do i even know what i'm trying to achieve? probably not.

i kid, i kid!!

they say designers should not design their own home, and i think they are right. fellow designers - thoughts? or am i the only one who has struggled on a very real level? the two-year wait has been horrendous to my concise and definitive decision-making.

in an effort to define just what it is i'm after, this is an ├╝ber-ghetto rendering of MAH FUTURE SHANTY, which i slapped together made just this weekend in an effort to convince myself that i am not making mistakes. also, i realllllllyyy want to install some baller exterior light fixtures and this is the best way to convince myself that they're worth it. please note that my lush wisteria will likely be the envy of the neighborhood:
after being told by the first architect duo that the full set of drawings they'd generated could be modified if i was willing to wait one million years to get on their calendar (after i'd already waited three months for them to return my phone call), i have a new architect, who completely scrapped the original house plans and started over, and had my new plans ready in ONE WEEK. he's been an architect forever and is super salty. i like to call him Gene The No-Frills Architect, because aside from being all business, he is the fastest draw (CAD jokes!) in the west and has a rolodex of houston building codes tucked neatly between his ears. also, he has zero tolerance for bullshit, which includes my ideas for a hot tub, as well as any coffee drinks that are not FOLGERS. gene probably regrets signing on for this project and is very quick to remind me that he is currently on owner-dictated revision numero seventeen, and counting, but he sure did like my rendering.

also i somehow finally found a builder??? three rounds of interviews and bid submittals later, that is.

a word to you builders out there: you are the worst!! the stringing along, the ambiguous contracts, the hidden fees and flat-out lying about what was and was not possible, the corner cutting, the empty promises... and these were mostly builders i had worked with previously or were by referral.

my new word for builders is EX-BOYFRIEND, and spoiler alert: i hate all of you. i stupidly thought, given my line of work and years of experience, that i might have an easy go of finding a builder, but consider this one of the times that i was colossally mistaken. it's largely due to the level of complications in ye olde shanty, but were i a real person, and not the formidable designer you've come to know and love, i'd-a quit it hardcore awhile back and just lived in my van down by the river.

i did eventually find a building group that came highly referred and who (fingers crossed) seem to be a great fit. they focus a lot on renovation and design, and it seems we are finally making some headway. in the words of her royal highness rupaul, DON'T FUCK IT UP, y'all, because i believe in you and i really think i can be in that stupid house by christmas.