nerd alert: harry potter rap battle.

in kansas, we try to go see at least one movie as a family. it's tough to find one movie that 18 people can agree upon that is both interesting and not rated R*.... which is why we're seeing harry potter (aka HPATDH: P1) tonight. sidenote--sweaty pants, i totally promise that i will see this again when you get here from singapore. maybe we can even see it twice.--end sidenote. but for now, i'm geeking out to this wizard rap battle... slow to start, but ver. hilar. also, you can read the lyrics in the info section of this youtube video, but i totally cutted and pasted them below, because i can do what i want.*because sitting in the 2nd row between my parents while we suffer through gratuitous coitus scenes from cold mountain is not anything any of us want to ever do again. ever.

ps-if you are like, a HUGE NERD (and trust me, there is no judgement here) you can download the mp3 for frees right here.

ps again-if you are as big a nerd as i am, you probably heard of these guys a long time ago, but in case you hadn't, you should check out harry and the potters.

Lyrics:
Voldemort #1:
I'm the darkest dark wizard in all of history,
I'll slay your ass out like Cedric Diggory.
With a wave of my finger Ill put you on the floor
You's a punk ass little kid without Dumbeldore,
I'm the best wizard rapper you ever will see,
you're a peewee witch midget with a dead mommy.
I've got multiple souls and can raise the dead
If you think you can win then you've been sorely misled

Harry #1
You's a big bald fairy, you think I'm scared of you
I smoked basilisk and I'll smoke you too.
I got witches in class I got witches in the halls
If you look under my cloak, you'll see my Hagrid size balls.
I win at wizard duels, I win at wizard chess,
Got platinum coated DUBS on my Hogwart's Express
You can't touch me son, I drive magic cars
I dish out big hurt you just pass out little scars!

Voldemort #2
Poor little Harry, you're such darling lad.
Do you miss you uncle? Your Mom? Your Dad?
Oh that's right I killed em, you're little owl too.
All your friends are next, I'll cut right through your crew.
You look like Marcy from Peanuts and your wand is tiny
Is that why you couldn't close the deal with Hermoine?
My boyz are called death eaters, they're black magic studs
They'll make you disappear, they don't care for mudbloods
You can never find me, it's like trying to catch smoke
You hide from me with your punk ass cloak.
You think your invisible, but I can see through that!
I'll run up with my wand and go RATA TAT TAT

Harry #2
Say it don't spray it your breath smells like a grave
Your teeth look like tombstones and your nose is concave
Your head looks like a golf ball your face looks like a lizard
Here's the toll free number for the hair club for wizards
The toughest gang around is Gryffindor crew,
wizards drive by's is what we do
When dementors try to ice me I step right up and own em
I crack a butter beer and say "Expecto Patronum"!

Song written by Mark Douglas & Erik Beck

offensive and delightful.

if you've ever spent 2 hours searching for the perfect card, only to say FUCK IT and buy one that is written in spanish, because seriously, a card for a three-year old written in another language trumps everything in the so-called 'funny birthday' section, you will probably enjoy cards from offensive and delightful. get your own offensive and delightful cards here. i'm also going to recommend that you hit up my neighborhood card shop, katie & co. not only are they doing a KICK-ASS j-o-b with my wedding invitations, but they also carry tons of gorgeous stationery. in fact, katie might even have some of these o + d cards in her shop. i need to check.

radiohead, schmadiohead.

dear pandora online radio-

i listen to you ALL day. i love your custom stations and nearly commercial-free music options. i love the 'thumbs down' feature when i hear a song i don't like. i love the buy-it-now option, and i enjoy using the QuickMix shuffle. you are free for the listenin' and you have exposed me to a plethora of artists that i LOVE and would have otherwise never heard (joshua radin, i'm talking about you). generally, i am thrilled with the results of your insanely brilliant music genome project. there's just one teensy, tiny problem:i effing HATE radiohead. i hate them, hate them, hate them, in a crazy, tourette's sort of way, and you play them every other song if i'm not careful. i don't care if rolling stone said they made the best album of the past ten years. i don't care if radiohead is a byword for brave musical experimentation. i don't care that their last album was available for free download (a fair price, by they way). i realize i'm the only person on god's green earth that doesn't care for radiohead, but when it comes to my listening pleasure, please stop, because if i hear that idioteque song again, i might throw my monitor out the window. it's counterproductive to what you're trying to accomplish, really.

love, kristina