10: Cole Haan Mariela Air OT Pump
these are a shoo-in (oh, i fucking WENT THERE) for being worn again. and i haz some C-Haan nike air pumps already, and they are bomb, especially for those mid-day jogs when i don't have time to employ the use of actual sneakers. not sure why these are at the bottom of the list... maybe due to the predictability that i will just buy these anyway?
9: Sam Edelman Pixie
these are extremely dangerous, and i do enjoy danger. they scream DON'T FUCK WITH ME, I'M THE MATRON OF HONOR, AND I HATE BEING CALLED MATRONLY. on the downside, i think it is in pretty poor taste to bleed all over the bride's white gown. which i have done before. and that is a great story.*
8: LOVE Moschino Somethingorother
these have gold hearts on them! and i am looking for shoes to wear at a wedding! i really can't get past how cute that heart is; someone please talk me out of these by telling me the brown sticker wrapper around the heel is for poor people or something.
7: Badgley Mischka Gylda
if i'd worn heels for my wedding, i would have worn the blue version of these. well, maybe. i mean, i did have a vocal performance of INXS at my wedding, so the reality is i'm way too hardcore for these shoes, but there is a sweet,
6: MICHAEL Michael Kors Carina Sandal
meeee-OW. black snake leather? bondage straps and buckles? now that's more like it. these are a little bit rock-n-roll, a little bit kdub. plus i love that adorable nugget michael kors.
5: Ivanka Trump Bulbi
oh heeeeeey. ivanka makes shoes now, and like her, these seem pretty classy. i am definitely leaning toward things that are actually strapped to my foot, so they won't fall off. the aisle at this church is LONNNNG.
4: Naturalizer Baila
um, don't be hatin' on my very sensible old lady shoe selection here. these beyotches are straight up comfortable, and i know this, because my mom stole (aka permanently borrowed) my last pair of naturalizer pumps. plus these are called the baila, and i'm almost positive that means DANCING, which would be super since my SIL has hired our wedding dj, THE FLASHDANCE. plus doesn't that strappage make you think of saturday night fever?
3: Rosegold Sabrina
i love rose gold! but wait, this is a shoe brand? has anyone heard of these? these are pretty fly, and i love that they worked in two different black materials. plus, thumbs up for what's been done with the heel here. that thing is SOLID, amiright? wait, is that a bow on the toes? also are these nine inches tall? SLANT FACE.
2: Calvin Klein Symone
hot. solid. strappy. strap on. buckles. two materials. just worried that i'll be... eight feet tall in these? b-rad: you could really help out by wearing some of those tom cruise dress shoes with lifts in them. i'm sure zappos has some.
1: Via Spiga Paula
i mean, these are really my first choice. full disclosure: i am under the spell of the orange interior. but look how ferocious that shape is? they really have a lot of the hallmarks i look for in footwear, meaning they're not too tall, and they have a mary jane strap, and they have a peep toe. plus hi, sturdy heel that isn't clunky. get on my feet already.