saying goodbye to goldie.

next week i will start driving a fancy grown-up car, the kind that a responsible, respectable lady would drive; the kind that your sweet husband gives to you when he's starting to think about car seat safety; the kind of car that you chauffeur your clients around in when you take them shopping for $32,000 sofas. in short, i am getting a car that is more ladylike than me, and it really freaks me out.

naturally, this means that next week, i will also say goodbye to my dear old friend, goldie the 4runner, aka the gold digger, aka goldschläger, aka goldie the magic dildo (don't think about that last one too much), who has outlasted everything as the final stronghold on my extremely fast and furious youth. the other day we decided that if goldie's walls could talk, they would probably scream, but the truth is, i've had that car since i was 23, and i am about to be 33 (fuckfuckfuck), so goldie has been around to witness all the stumbling i did when i was not a girl, not yet a woman. i prefer to think of these as my adult formulative years, and some of those stumbles are AWESOME.

since i bought her (all on my own in 2003), goldie's been my bottom bitch while i traversed the countryside, living in arkansas; the woodlands, texas (aka communist china); chicago; and finally, dear old space city, houston. in 10 years, i've put just 120,000 miles on goldie while simultaneously accumulating the following statistics.

goldie has transported me to a staggering ELEVEN places of employment, the highlight of which has to be my sports bar waitressing stint at a joint called fox & hound, where i slung beer buckets to finance my day job as a non-paid interior design intern. it's fairly bittersweet to think that the car i was driving when i didn't know what i was doing with my life is the car i'm driving now, when it seems everything has been figured out.

speaking of not having had it figured out, goldie's been chaperone to vehicular interludes with a disconcerting amount of mr. wrongs: 1 fiance (slash ex-fiance), 4 serious boyfriends (aka ex-boyfriends, aka assholes) and 11 quasi-boyfriends (goldie and i both knew they weren't ex-boyfriend material) all rode shotgun at some point before i found sugar bears. what a whore bag.

although i've only ever gotten one traffic ticket during the goldie years (failure to wear a seat belt), goldie and i have been involved in multiple accidents, one of which was car wreck with mario lopez, who did not have car insurance. also, he rear ended me, but i've never been able to say that i was rear-ended by mario lopez with a straight face. goldie has had her airbags replaced, a new front end at least three times that i can remember, a new back end (twice, i think), two entirely new sides and also two major window replacements, so i challenge you to find an original component of her that isn't the roof. one accident, unfortunately, caused permanent damage to her cassette player, which means we've been listening to tape 5 of lalita tademy's cane river for over six years. goldie and i had some pretty killer road trips listening to books on tape.

so farewell to goldie. you were the hi ho silver (emphasis on the hoe part) to my lone ranger, and i never had to worry about spilling an entire cup of coffee in your passenger seat, BECAUSE YOUR UPHOLSTERY IS THE PERFECT SHADE OF SPILLED COFFEE STAINS.

and you don't find a car like that every day.

chicago circa 2005. this is really the best i can do as far as photos of myself and the golddigger. goldie has also seen me through HUNDREDS of hair color choices.

i can't find any other photos that contain both me + goldie, so i submit this one as evidence that i bought her in arkansas, had illinois plates, am a licensed scuba diver and a proud member of delta theta. also, the man with the key map admiring his rear-end job is mario lopez.

this is a totally different accident.

rest in peace, MCA.

damn. visionary musician adam yauch has passed away at 47 after battling cancer. it's incredibly sad and for whatever reason, hits a little too close to home. the beastie boys were a tremendous part of my adolescence and i will never forget the day my dad ripped Paul's Boutique out of my tape deck and threw it out the window. rest in peace, MCA.

more great advice from oprah.

aloha, beyotches! we are in hawaii for the week and having a delightful time maxing and relaxing on the beach. intermittent pinterest action on the ol' iphone revealed this gem from the ever-brilliant oprah, and i'd just like to mention that if you've got a minute, check out the accompanying post on positive relationships at whoorl.com. it's a great message and definitely a nice reminder that we are all very much in control of our own happiness. i hope you're all having a wonderful day, and if you're not, the westminster dog show is on. if watching that shit doesn't cheer you up then nothing will.

love you long time.

happiest of valentine's to all but especially to the one and only sugarbear.

Steve.

during my senior year of college, i bought my first apple computer-my first computer ever, actually-from a guy named geoff chin, who worked in the acu campus store. it was the iMac G4, with the white rounded base and the 15-inch LCD screen on a rotating arm, and it was the coolest thing any of us had ever seen.

that day felt like the future. 

"We don’t get a chance to do that many things, and every one should be really excellent. Because this is our life.

Life is brief, and then you die, you know?

And we’ve all chosen to do this with our lives. So it better be damn good. It better be worth it."

-Steve Jobs

sometimes it lasts.

as long as you have functional ears on your head, you are susceptible to, at some point in your life, admitting that adele has quite possibly the most amazing voice of our time. this particular song is both SO good and SO sad that it has both b-rad and i sitting here with monday night football on mute, secretly wishing we were in the wicked throes of former heartbreak, if only to enjoy the misery to a fuller extent.* break out the tissues and ice cream, because no one would blame you for listening to it more than once. and this shit is LIVE.

*but seriously. bittersweet though the trip down memory lane may be, i'm unspeakably thankful that sads of this magnitude are over. for. rills.

people i admire: the white mouse.

at the risk of being all EVERYONE IS DYING on this blog, here is some recommended reading about one of the most badass ladies of our time, possibly ever. you've simply got to skim through the washington post's story of nancy wake. i am in awe.

wednesday morning.

guess who worked until 8 on monday and until 10 last night? me and sugarbear, that's who. and i was up at 5:30 yesterday to make a flight to dallas, which is a feat in and of itself, because i don't rise and shine much earlier than 7:30 most of the time. days have been looong and there is pretty much no end in sight so i don't have to tell you it's been a real fucking party around here. BUT i made breakfast this morning (spinach with farm eggs and quinoa, not bud light and twizzlers, audrey, which is why there is photo evidence proof) and b-rad is wearing the awesome socks i got him during one of many h&m runs in new york last month, so all things considered, life is pretty great. ps-yes, those are my amazing klaus haapaniemi dishes. total wedding score.

happy mother's day.

everything I am or ever hope to be, i owe to my angel mother. - abraham lincoln

let's face it: you have to be a pretty big angel to raise six children. i love you mom!

for my dear brother brad,

(not to be confused with my husband brad), who is awesome but having a not-so-awesome week. hang in there brother. i love you big time.

please listen to this as loud as is earthly possible and know that a giant big sister hug (a giant hug that is, I AM NOT GIANT I HAVE NOT GAINED THAT MUCH WEIGHT POST-WEDDING I HAVEN'T) comes with it. your copy of this amazing album is on it's way right now.*
*and sorry for not sending it sooner. i heard these guys for the first time when i was in london last june, almost a year ago, and have been hoarding them for myself.

rob ryan gives me a toothache of happiness.

and i like it. despite having been on the world's radar for awhile, rob ryan first stole my heart while i was in london visiting audrey. we had taken a day to go to Liberty of London and Drool. On. Everything. (then we took a lunch break at leon, and then we went back to liberty. still one of the best days i've ever had.) i saw a rob ryan tea towel, which was a bit misleading, because rob ryan is not a tea towel maker; rob ryan is a magical PAPERCUTTING artist. as intricate works such as his must take billions of hours to produce, there are now (thankfully) screen printed editions available for the masses, through his shop in london and his etsy storefront. i haven't stumbled upon the treasure trove of information that will unlock the mysteries and answer all of my questions about rob, such as HOW DID HE GET INTO PAPERCUTTING? and WHO WRITES THIS BEAUTIFUL LOVE POETRY? and CAN I HAVE A HUG AND SOME OF THOSE DRUGS YOU ARE ON?, but as far as i can tell, rob ryan has sweeter thoughts than the most romantic person on the planet (*and the occasional burst of heartbreak) and loves nature.  i will seek mas info de rob, but in the meantime, if you are an Anne of Green Gables-loving sap such as myself, you will positively pine for some rob-ry in your life. check out these pieces, and try to keep in mind that they were originally cut from paper with human hands. i typed some of the messages below the pieces so you are able to fully marinate in the sugary sweetness of papercut love.

Everything that is supposed to be in heaven is already here on earth.

You are my universe. Moons circle planets and planets circle stars, stars and galaxies rotate eternally and you and I circle each other for you are my universe entirely and i will always be yours.

I can't forget and I never will you smiled at me and from nothing something came now the world is new to me again I will remember still you smiled at me and now I dream a dream of good.

Can We? Shall We? One day very soon, let us go away together just you and me. Can We? Shall We? Call in sick one day and travel to the sea and hold hands all day. Can We? Shall We? Eat our sandwiches on the train, get drunk on fresh air and come home tired and never tell anyone.... Ever.

I miss being a small girl.

We Had Nothing, We Had Not Much, We Had Enough, We Had Everthing. P.S. Please Don't Ever Let Me Have Too Much.

Every night, at the same time, I pick a star, hold it tight and think of you a thousand miles across land and sea. I feel you in my heart thinking of me. These same stars and this same sky hang over both you and I. In our dreams and in my heart they help us feel less far apart.

Mother of mine, O Mother of mine, Help me please. Tell me why I feel this way.

My home will have no windows, doors or floors, nor bricks or mortar. My only home is in your arms and nowhere else.

No stepping stones for me because I choose to sit on my ladder and feel the icy water flow between my toes and around my ankles. This water is not deep enough to make me feel alive with life and love.

Other planets cannot be as beautiful as this one.

These bells will peal for just one day but in our hearts will ring all winter long.

You were in my head but now you are in my heart. Please stay there forever.

My darling I have never done anything brave in my life. But one day 17 years ago in Birmingham City Art Gallery I leant over and kissed a beautiful girl. I loved this girl so much. Her smile was so sweet & kin and she was so different from any girl I’d ever met before. Yet she seemed so much like me…that is to say…alone. And we were sitting on a bench in a room full of beautiful paintings and I thought now is the time. I am shaking a little bit and it seems to have gone very quiet and I leant over & kissed her on the lips and to my surpise she kissed me back and my heart soared up and up higher and higher and higher upwards into the sky where it exploded like a giant firework. That was your mother.

When I see you from across a crowded room my heart skips a beat. When I get nearer to the place where I think you might be my heart starts to thump-will you be there? Will you be there? Will you be there? And then as if by a miracle, the clouds part and the sun pours out from behind a curtain of grey and suddenly you are there…my throught goes dry, my legs turn to jelly and even now as I write this my hands begin to tremble at merely the memory. I think you have a nice smile. I think you look kind. I don’t want to be alone with my thoughts. Will you? Could you? Be my Valentine?

baby mooses! playing in a sprinkler!

oh my heavens, angels and stars. for those of you who enjoyed ZONKIES!, squirrels or dik-dik, you will really love trying not to get emotional over this. if i'd been in anchorage, alaska on this magical day in june 2008, i would have bawled my giant head off. which reminds me, alison krauss- you say it best when you are singing it.

love sparklers.

well this is adorable. you know, if you're like, getting married or something. and have sparklers.
{via jhenderson studios.}

product endorsement.

in the months leading up to the wedding, i became a bit of a products junkie, trying to find the perfect combo of products that would ensure my everlasting beauty. here are my top three, with a fourth thrown in just to show you that some of the best products out there are the ones you are already using:

1. dr. brandt pores no more anti-aging mattifying lotion. this stuff is amazing. hands down, the best discovery of my life. if your face gets shiny at any point during the day, you should use this magic elixer in lieu of whatever moisturizing routine you're doing now. it also makes your pores shrink considerably. buy it buy it buy it. i love it so much that i'm going to explore more products in the dr. brandt line. available at sephora.
2. trish mcevoy eye base essentials. it comes in six shades, and i have the demure. it evens out the tone of your eyelids, adds the tiniest amount of sparkle and looks super without any eyeshadow over it. it doesn't crease, and if you do add shadow over it, that shadow will stay on ALL DAY. available at stores like nordstrom and neimans, or through trish mcevoy.
3. the lip slip by sara happ. not the cheapest lip balm, but the best. velvety goodness for your lips comes at a price, but a tub will last you forever. mainly because you only have to apply about twice a day. everyone i know who has had the lip slip experience can attest to its greatness. i just found out you can get it from bath & body works, at the lowest price i've ever seen! hopefully, it is carried in stores, because shipping usually makes it slightly over $30 a pop. ouch. but worth it. order it here.
4. maybelline great lash blackest black mascara. after spending a small fortune on crap like lash stilletto, lash blast, big fatty, voluminous and the like, i returned to the mascara i've been using since the beginning of time. it isn't that all of those others are terrible, it's just that they are NOT GOOD. to add insult to injury, they all cost too much. great lash is only $4.24 and it is amazing. ladies are cray-cray for it. hasn't it been around for 25 years or something? although that ad campaign with the increasingly beautiful drew barrymore really had me for awhile... get it at target.

water for elephants.

one of my favorite reads as an adult, if not my VERY favorite book, is water for elephants by sara gruen. it's hard to describe a story that i love so much without sounding like a literary crackhead, but here goes. set in the great depression, water for elephants is a historical novel about an educated fella who, in the midst of some serious personal turmoil, joins a traveling circus. he finds himself, finds love, gets his life on track, et all while being witness to some pretty freaky circus stuff. easily the most descriptive, detailed book i've ever read, i felt as if i were there, in the sun and on the train, and i simply hated for the story to end. did i already mention that IT. IS. AMAZING. i love historical fiction, especially a book researched as well as this one, and i love stories about love overcoming impossible odds, and i have never read ANYTHING about the circus, which was fascinating. also, i learned a lot about prohibition and the terrible things that alcoholics resorted to doing. there is simply nothing else like this book, so seriously, quit fucking around and go read this book already (and thus concludes my literary crackhead review). as if that weren't enough, i have known for awhile (because i am a crazy water for elephants stalker)(not a rob pattinson stalker) that the book is currently being made into a movie, starring reese witherspoon, rob pattinson and christoph waltz, who just won an oscar. the movie comes out sometime next year, and i couldn't be more excited. OBVIOUSLY. making matters worse, filming just began a few days ago and us weekly ran images of the new and improved rpattz hairstyle... so i am officially a huge nerd and will probably wear a water for elephants t-shirt if i can find one.

despite my inability to reel it in a tad, i hope you will read the book. you can buy it here but please let me know if you'd like to borrow my copy. additionally, please look forward to some complete WFE nerding out on this here blog. xo-kw

mother lover.

i saw this today while reading some back entries on d*lish (specifically, the mother's day post). this one goes out to my mom, who doesn't have any use for the world wide web, at all, and who will not see this unless i print a paper copy and send it to her via the united states postal service. she's gone to great lengths and made huge sacrifices so that i could live the way that i do now, and i'm not sure she can ever comprehend the depths of my gratitude. thanks mom. you are awesome.

kristina

{via i can read}

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things to work on in 2010, number 2.

Elderly couple Fran and Marlo walked into the lobby of the Mayo Clinic for a checkup and spotted a piano. They've been married for a whopping 62 years, and Marlo turned 90 this year.

man. if brad and i are this awesome when we're 90, someone better invite us to be on conan. or at least Great Day HOUSTON. so brad, make some time.

2. take lessons with brad. not sure if these will be piano, dance or other (or all three).

{via a cup of jo}

reflections on 2009.

what a great year. if i made a pros and cons list for 2009, the cons list would be extremely short (but it would definitely include the time i saw the informant). i could write a book on the pros, however, but this year wasn't good all on it's own... it was a spectacular year because i am surrounded by wonderful friends. so thanks, friends (you know who you are). you are a hot and sassy bunch of bfaces, and i would do anything for you.

{via inside the loop}

squirrels.

i don't want to go to work today, but i did find this picture, so i guess the day isn't a total loss.

nice try, kid.

this was almost cute enough to make me think about someday having a child. but then i imagined all the time you must have spent practicing, you know, before you were (kind of) good and just making noise. i bet it was annoying for your mom. however, if someone comes up with a magic elixir that would make a baby extremely talented in the music department and an excellent golfer and a boy, well then. sign me up. maybe.