friday's blast from the past: little red, riding in the hood.

PREFACE FOR CONTEXT: my beautiful friend leah used to spend her days teaching middle school children. as one of the coolest people i know, it always fascinated me to hear about the interesting assignments she had for her kids, which almost always resulted in hilarity.

COMMENCE BLAST: 07.21.2005

Friends and Fellow Educators,

Right now one of my students is writing his parody of the classic children's tale, Little Red Riding Hood. And see there is this girl named Little Red. She drives a 64 Impala with 22s and spinners and a crunk system. Little Red is going to see her grandma (she calls her G-Ma) who just got out of jail. Sadly, G-Ma can’t stay away from the pipe. So G-Ma contacts her dealer as soon as she gets back to her crib. His name is Wolf. For reasons yet to be determined, Wolf pops a cap in G-Ma just as Little Red is pulling up. Fortunately The P.I.M.P. was hangin’ down on the corner and heard the gunshots. He told Little Red that he thought she might run into some trouble up in G-Ma’s place. So Little Red grabbed her .45 and found Wolf stuffing G-Ma in her closet. Little Red then blew Wolf away.

Isn’t that adorable?

I really like the feminist themes in this modern day approach to an old favorite. I think that this is certainly a commentary on how far women have come in this world. No longer is it a story about what happens when pretty little white girls talk to strangers, because in this post-modern era men need to be reminded that you don’t mess with a girl’s family or she’ll take you out.