Thursday, November 11, 2010

reason #9,032 why i can NEVER quit my job, OR, the movie of my life.

my boss and her hubs totally read this blog (BUSTED), and thus make up approximately 13% of my readership. with my high hopes that this here B-L-O-G will someday be turned into a julie-and-julia-esque movie, i can't really afford to lose my loyal fan base. plus, it just so happens that i really enjoy my job.

speaking of that movie, though... the lovely and talented chloƫ sevigny would clearly play yours truly. she is the proper mix of odd and brooding to really wrap her acting chops around the story of my life. naturally, zoey deschanel would play the part of audrey, aka the peas to my carrots. brad originally requested that taylor lautner play him (seriously), but that kid is like, 18, so no. we've settled on the funny-yet-tough, relatively hairy jason bateman for now. it's just so tough to find someone manly enough for the role. i would love to pick people to play the rest of my gang, but it's a very personal decision, and folks tend to get offended. like, oddly offended. one time i suggested drew barrymore for someone's part, and that person was mad at me for weeks. which is stupid. have you even SEEN how amazing d. b-more is looking these days? so i'm open to suggestions. let me know who we need to get booked for your part.
{images via my pinterest}


Anonymous said... the story of your life, you would be played by Katherine Heigl!!!

--Mr. U---

audrey 'business suit' johnson said...

Alternative B-Rad Sugar Bear Luebe options:

1) Tom Selleck, circa 3 Men and a Little Baby
2) Alec Baldwin, circa ANYTIME. That man has the most piercing blue eyes and thickest head of hair I've ever seen, next to B-Rad himself. They may be related.
3) Rider Strong, aka Shawn Hunter from Boy Meets World.

Boom goes the dynamite.

audrey 'business suit' johnson said...

I've put a bit more thought into this topic (even though I'm just SWAMPED with other things to do right now), and this is what I've come up with:

Walsh - Kat Dennings (the sultry lady from Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist. Giant jugs and dry wit.)

Vannatter - Tori Spelling. Just kidding, Donna Martin. Scarlett Johanson - those two could be sisters.

Nicole - Renae Zellweger. Duh. (circa Jerry Maguire, when she was still freakishly adorable, and not scary-weird looking)

Brandee - Kristen Johnston. But only if she agreed to a little bit of face surgery, because Brandee is WAY cuter. Maybe we could super-impose Kaylee Cuoco's face on her head.

Cally HH - I'm not gonna lie, this one's a toughie. I think Kristen Wiig could handle the part, but we'd need to put her on a rigid anorexia diet and cut her legs off at the knees. If she's ever going to make it in the Hollywood Game, she's going to need to make some sacrifices for her craft.

Jill - Jill will have to play herself. There's just no one out there half as adorable and up and awesome as Jill herself.

Cullen and Kyle, aka The Brothers Scott - Armie Hammer. He really playing those twins on that new facebook movie. And while Cullen and Kyle aren't twins, one of them is a twin, so that's close enough for me. If Armie's not available, I'm going with the runners up, which are Mary Kate and Ashley.

Stay tuned for more additions to this cast list...