Sunday, November 1, 2009

slut-o-ween: you put a spell on me.

man. is it just me or were the sluuuuuts out in record numbers last night? let me start by saying I LOVE COSTUMES, which is why halloween has always been my favorite holiday. i also don't really have a huge problem with sluts. if you've got it, sister, show it off. all of it. so i would like to go on the record as fully for costumes, no matter how inappropriate they are. at least you're in a costume, even if i can see your wizard's sleeve, even if you're freezing your nalgas off. but all compliments aside... the quality of the costumes was pretty bad. i know halloween has been a whore's christmas for awhile, but if you're going to dress like a hooker, why dress as a cheap hooker? why don't you go down to, i dunno, SEARS and get yourself a several-sizes too small negligee of sorts, and add your angel wings and halo to that? at least it wouldn't melt if you got too close to a jack-o'lantern. and a personal note to costume-making companies: could you not spend a dollar more in the construction phase for some real buttons, instead of the ones that are drawn on? shame on you. if they can make and sell a SNUGGIE for $15 at target (free LED booklight included!) could you not step it up a teensy bit in regard to quality?

i also saw several ladies dressed as dominatrix's (or, as spell-checker says, dominatrices, but i'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you did not already know the plural form of dominatrix.) and i'm not sure i get it. on the one hand, is that really a costume? i understand the naughty angel: she's in a costume as an angel, but just happens to be a veeeerry sexy one. but dominatrix? on the other hand, kudos for purchasing a costume you can use all year 'round. we are in a recession, after all.

i was a very historically accurate native american. it was a great way to justify the purchase of these boots:
so update your list. miley cyrus, audrina patridge and ME, that's who owns a pair of these bad boys. i can't can't caaaaaan't wait to get them on a dance floor.



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