we should have seen this coming....

wah-waaaaah. pun wedding.
{via 100 layer cake}

wallpaper.

how delicious are those walls behind ms. jovovich? seriously. i could eat that wallpaper.

friday's blast from the past: the jug and bottle band.

those of you not familiar with jug and bottle bands might also not be familiar with the hit television program HEE-HAW, so i will start there and back into it. hee-haw was a variety show that focused on aspects of country (kountry) life. a celebrity guest host joined the cast every week to perform funny songs and skits in fictional Kornfield Kounty, where there was no shortage of cleavage, calico, overalls, banjos or missing teeth. in a nutshell, hee-haw was like a hillbilly saturday night live. as a child, we weren't allowed to watch a lot of tv, but we NEVER missed an episode of hee-haw.

one of our favorite recurring skits was called Hee-Haw's All Jug Band, which featured large-breasted women (get it? hee-haw!), singing a funny song while alternately blowing on moonshine jugs. somehow, my mother got the idea that this (considerably inappropriate) skit would be even more amazing if performed by her six children. (and i say SOMEHOW sarcastically, because my mother enjoyed nothing more than to have us kids dress up and entertain her.) {the culhanes, a hee-haw family}

fortunately, we were already members of an agricultural youth program called 4-H. each year, all 4-H clubs in the county were able to participate in something called CLUB DAYS, which is equivalent to a highly-competitive talent show for huge nerds. demonstrations, speeches, skits, music and dance were judged by a local panel and awarded ribbons based on skill level. yes, you read that correctly-the prize for participating was a piece of RIBBON. for the record, if the prize had been a sack of chicken bones, my mother would have STILL entered our jug and bottle band in the competition. now, my parents have always kept a dry house, but magically, my mom came up with an assortment of empty liquor bottles. LARGE ONES. she then coaxed the school music teacher over to our house to tune the bottles (done by adding various levels of water, fyi). this way, we could all play a certain note during our musical masterpiece. so what, pray tell, was the song these two settled on? POLLY WOLLY DOODLE. ever heard this tune? i'll break it down for you: it has a very fast pace. there are also some questionable southern undertones, but i just want to concentrate on the speed of the song. which is FAST. we each had a different note-bottle, mind you, so as the song got going, you really had to huff and puff to make it happen. although we managed to learn the song, we really, really didn't want to perform it for anyone, especially for the general populous of douglas county. my mother assured us that everyone was going to think it was spectacular and that we would probably be invited to be on star search, and ps-we didn't have a choice. we got a blue ribbon. technically, it is what i like to call a PITY RIBBON, because NOBODY in the audience (including the judges) thought it was entertaining, or funny, except for my mom, who laughed so hard she cried AND peed in her pants a little. the good news is that due to my mother's meticulous record-keeping skills, i've got proof. here's a close-up of the back of the ribbon. so this one goes out to cheryl. thanks for retaining your sanity by making us do the craziest things anyone has ever heard of, because i'd be lying if i said those experiences didn't help shape me into the glamorous lady that i am today.

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wall gardening.

it is finally SPRING in houston, and everything is that bright green color. i love it. the roadside wildflowers are starting to sprout up, and my green thumb wants a project. maybe one of these vertical gardens would be good? we do, after all, have ridiculously limited townhouse yard space. and i'm starting to see these EVERYWHERE. (and ps-woolly pockets' breathable felt is made from 100% recycled plastic bottles, so you're kind of a douche if you don't buy one. pretty sure we all drink waaaaaay too much bottled water.){flora grubb via a cup of jo}{woolly pockets via design*sponge}

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rube goldberg machine.

i've always been fascinated by rube goldberg machines, but this one is the best ever. and set to music, so BONUS, right? i love how they made the machine's actions get bigger and bigger. if you need to bone up on your rube goldberg, read about him here.
{thanks lauren!}

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elizabeth dye.

i have been a mongo fan of elizabeth dye for awhile, because let's face it: she spends her days SEWING for a living, and she lives in portland, oregon. double whammy, yo. anyway, she's got a sweet etsy shop called the english dept. (aaaaaaaaghhhh. so awesome) and you should check it out. but this navy bolero is just the CUTEST. if there were any way on earth that i could have ten weddings with ten different color schemes and not murder myself after planning wedding numero uno, than this color combo would be one of the runners-up... perhaps a TITCH less on the pink, but i mean, NAVY? someone better hop on this, STAT. {via elizabeth dye and martha stewart weddings}

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SLEIGH BELLS.

in the music world, i'm probably waaaaay too tardy to the party to be reporting on this, but assuming you're all normal folk who don't work at paste or pitchfork, SLEIGH BELLS, Y'ALL. they are a male-female duo that sounds like the love child of ghostland observatory and karen o (from the yeah yeah yeahs), plus a few other bands that i'm waaaaaay to excited to think of right now. i first heard sleigh bells in december, but forgot to b-log about it... sad, because i would have been SO ahead of the game. apparently, sleigh bells played at SXSW this year and Tore. It. Up. so take a listen, and make sure you have time to hit repeat a few times. it has been awhile since i was so extremely in love with a new band. AND YOU JUST KNOOOOOOOOWWWWW that they'll be playing at ACL this year (aka my bachelorette party). consider them my first official ACL band guess, as well as my first ACL must-see.

download RING RING and CROWN ON THE GROUND here.

Sleigh Bells "Crown on the Ground" LIVE at Le Poisson Rouge NYC from AbzPunkPhoto on Vimeo.

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wes anderson is following my twitter.

i have a whopping EIGHT followers on my twitter account, so consider this a lecture on QUALITY, not quantity, kids. the amazingly fantastical WES ANDERSON is following my twitter feed. are we clear on that? wes anderson, brilliant writer/director/producer behind movie greats like bottle rocket, rushmore, the royal tenenbaums, the life aquatic, the darjeeling limited and most recently, fantastic mr. fox IS FOLLOWING MY TWITTER. b-rad has mentioned (repeatedly) that it is probably a) not the real wes anderson or b) wes anderson's hired twitter team, but for now, i will bask im my new-found internet glory. here's a screen cap from the ol' iphone:since i recently linked my twitter feed and my blog posting, i must have popped up on mr. anderson's radar after this post. or maybe wes is just out trolling around al gore's internet hoping to scare up some new movie ideas? regardless, follow away, wes. follow away. but i will have my eye out for any new movies starring a ridiculously awkward, circus-tall blonde who gets into a variety of life adventures.

should you care to follow wes and slash or his twitter team, do so here. should you care to be more like wes anderson, follow my twitter feed here.

wes sugar (and everyone else), i'll be skiing until the 19th, but blogging should be back to it's usual sporadic-ness after that.

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earth day commerce.

flipping through my viva terra catalog last night, i started to wonder WHEN IS EARTH DAY, ANYWAY? obv. this train of thought got started because i just realized, after having received the viva terra catalog for at least a year, maybe three, that viva terra only sells products made from organic, sustainable sources that are handcrafted by artisans. sort of like anthropologie with a soul, with a slightly higher ma-maw content. anyway, aside from the fact that every day should be earth day, the real earth day is april 22nd and this year will mark the 40th anniversary. so i got to thinking... since earth day is designed to inspire awareness and appreciation for the earth's environment, what better way to celebrate than by purchasing some of these items i can't stop drooling over? if you order now, these items should TOTES be here in time for earth day. (oh, did you think this post was about the environment, and not just an elaborate scheme for me to do some imaginary shopping? WRONG.) if you are not a viva terra catalog receiver, you can also shop online here.

hand-embroidered organic cotton rabbit bag. first of all, 150 women in the community of San Pueblito, Mexico hand-embroider these 100% organic cotton bags, providing a crucial source of income. second of all, i'm pretty sure rabbit's feet are LUCKY, and this bag has EIGHT rabbit feet. i feel really good about the yellow, but this bag would be equally lucky in brown.vintage silk scrap necklace. adjustable length means you can probably wear it every day. think of your cost per wearing! also comes in a great crimson color. geisha flower silk robe. ladies, there is NOTHING finer than a silk robe. last year around valentine's day, i hinted LOUDLY that it would really be nice to have a silk robe, while in a store that sold silk robes, while holding the one i wanted. for the past year, i have worn the shit out of that thing, feeling sassy and elegant and beautiful all the while. i highly recommend it.

{all images via viva terra; earth day information here and here}

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tech support.

please join me in welcoming the newest staff member here at the wonders: B-RAD, who is now in charge of all things TECH-related. i made him wear these glasses so you can see how smart he is. it is worth mentioning that recently, in an effort to add a 'subscribe by email' option to this here bloggity, i messed things up beyond ALL comprehension, pretty much deleted everything i've ever posted, and-oh yeah-failed to get the email thing done properly. not surprisingly, it took me several days to make this e-tarded mess happen, and after brad offered valiantly to try and fix it, i may have shouted something wholly inappropriate at him, like maybe AS IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW TO FIX MY BLOG, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING (for which i am very, very sorry for, and can only blame on the level of distraught-ness i was under, but that still didn't make it okay). anyway, fast forward to five minutes later, when brad had fixed everything i'd messed up, and also added some very handy email subscriptions thingies, as well as solved the problem i'd been having posting images. so i wanted let you all know that i am common-law married to the smartest man alive. he is also a real whiz in the kitchen, and has not complained once about the dresser i've been painting in the dining room, which has been there since january.

and how do you like this:
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say it ain't so....

rest in peace, corey haim. for the record, i loved you in LUCAS.
(for cullen)

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congratulations to me, or, 2010: the year of the baby.

i traveled north recently to visit my new nephew, kaleb (i am, after all, the WORLD'S GREATEST AUNT), who was born on his grumpa's (aka my father's) birthday, february 8th. kaleb is the youngest of four children belonging to my older sister and her husband, all of whom will be making their wedding debut as flower girls and ring bearers at my wedding in october. obviously, the good news is that kaleb is really adorable and healthy. but the GREAT NEWS is that post-baby shower, both of my younger sisters announced that they have buns in their ovens! the weird news is that they are due WITHIN DAYS of one another in late august, which is further evidence that i come from the most fertile line of women in the world. anyway, prepare yourselves for a cute overload, because my wedding child army just grew by two more, and they will be tiny. here's a photo of kaleb and i, but please ignore the giant grease smear that is my face.
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anthropologie wedding????

SRSLY, audrey, did you know about this? in the spring of 2011, the folks behind anthropologie will be launching a WEDDING BRAND, complete with wedding gowns, bridesmaid dresses, jewelry, shoes, lingerie, invitations, decorations and gifts. so my hat is off to you, single ladies. way to not let anyone put a ring on it until this happened. i'd ask b-rad if we could postpone our wedding another year to take advantage of this amazingness, but i don't need any golf clubs thrown at me. check out the press release here.
{via a cup of jo; image via once wed}

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steeeeelllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

delicious herringbone parquet floors in stella mccartney's new milan store.

{via if the lampshade fits}

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disgruntled employee.

for reasons i won't bother to get into right now, my job has been WEARING ME OUT of late, and i have kind of had it. however, these drawings in david fullerton's sisyphus office collection (made of office supplies, natch) have given me a passive-aggressive laugh, and have helped slightly to take my mind off the giant amount of SUCK that surrounds me. if only this installation had been in my office, and not over at houston's 90.1 KPFT radio station...
{via what possessed me}

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dead man's bones.

while i'm at it, i want to let you know that ryan gosling's band, dead man's bones, is REALLY GOOD. and weird, but they are good enough for B-Rad (self-proclaimed indie music snob) to have already purchased the album. there are some parts of the self-titled album that are downright odd. but you should totally buy it anyway, because let's face it: you loved the notebook and lars and the real girl. here's a small sampling:

giving up the gun.

what? all i do is post youtube videos? IT'S BEEN A ROUGH WEEK, ALREADY. but i think you'll like this one. vampire weekend aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand jake gyllenhaalllalall? yes, please. oh, and joe jonas, lil' john and rza from wu-tang clan are in it, too. it's your basic all-star line-up. in case you forgot to dvr saturday night live this weekend, ezra, rostam & chrisX2 were on there and Tore. It. Up. go on, go on, go ON.

wes anderson's spiderman.

a spoof based on the rumor that wes anderson is possibly going to direct spiderman eleven (or six, or whatever number sequel it's at these days).

{via guardian.}

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a party in the u.s.a.

i resisted listening to that miley cyrus song as long as i could. i really did. but then she did that whole pole dancing thing at the country music awards, or whatever it was, and i heard party in the u.s.a, which resulted in some immediate downloading of all things miley. after all, I AM NOT MADE OF STONE, PEOPLE. plus her dad is billy ray cyrus, so to not love miley is essentially the same as spitting on billy's achy breaky heart. furthermore, if party in the u.s.a. comes on, you will see some amazing kristina dance moves (but that's another blog post). i have also unsuccessfully resisted the television series lost, but that is mostly because i met matthew fox when i was skiing in park city, and i promised his gorgeous face that i would start watching. so you can imagine how delighted i was to stumble upon THIS video. y'all know how i feel about two worlds colliding.
ps-cally, this is for you. get well soon.

{via new york magazine}

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the adventures of steve.

sorry for the light posting of late. between the wedding and the houston rodeo (possibly more on that later), plus my traveling pants, insane amounts of birthdays and showers, and oh yeah-i have a job-i'm BUSY, y'all. but this might entertain you. or not. it is, after all, a post about my dog.

i've just had to rescue steve, who was being held hostage on the stairs by one of our giant cats. this happens a few times a month, and although hilarious to me, it usually terrifies poor widdle 'teve to the point where you can hear his distress wimpers throughout the house. have i ever mentioned that steve is the tiniest dog in the world? i suppose if i were the size of steve, life in general (but especially giant cats) would scare the shit out of me, too. here he is with his enormous sister ginger, who weighs ten pounds, just to give you an idea. (what a heifer, right? MOO ALREADY.)and because it is almost warm enough, here is a picture of steve on the boat. that expression on his face is the closest thing i've ever seen to a dog smile.

unicorn princess.

unicorn princess heels. need i even say more? you can score a pair right here except you'll have to wait until someone sends another shipment down the fashion rainbow. unicorn princess heels are SOLD OUT.
it's also worth mentioning that i really wanted to get a pair of these for my good friend lauren (not her real name). happy birthday anyway, unicorn princess! please also enjoy this gift of a unicorn prince (you have to watch until AT LEAST the 0:55 mark):

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